


egregiously perfect

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Collegestuck, Humanstuck, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-05
Updated: 2013-08-29
Packaged: 2017-11-20 08:48:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/583462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know he’s joking but you feel the urge to vomit. But perhaps not vomity vomit but like Cherry Garcia ice cream because hot damn Ben and Jerry’s have the best flavors of frozen milk ever or even compliments on how nice he looks in that button down<br/>....<br/>Karkat had never been so flustered in his entire life. He probably likes John Egbert. He's probably going to say something wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. I just sat down to write one day and this happened hahaha. I'm not very good at summaries but I just wanted to write some college humanstuck that involved eventual Johnkat smooches. So here it is!

You are Karkat Vantas. You are currently in front of a shitty family restaurant waiting outside for the rest of your stupid fucks you call friends. In any case just because the idiots aren’t on time you would not stand for anyone else calling them “stupid fucks”. You are strangely loyal like that. Even if you think the whole reason for gathering here is a bit on the stupid side. Jade found it sad that they haven’t seen each other and for “gosh darn sake! We all go to the same college!” and so here you are waiting for everyone outside a restaurant. You feel sorry for your eventual waiter.

That being said you aren’t alone. John Egbert is standing next to you trying to get ahold of Jade on his phone. You have just texted your own roommate to get her probably over clothed ass over here. She hasn’t replied yet. 

“Has she answered?” you ask looking up at him. He’s much taller then you. Almost annoyingly so. 

“She’s probably with Rose getting ready right?” He asks looking down at his phone. 

“How should I know, dumb ass?”

“Jeez calm down, I wasn’t really asking you,” he says rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. You grimace.

“Sorry,” you proceed to play with your scarf like some sort of man-child. “Dammit. I’m just- Well snappy and it’s cold and why does our stupid group wait on each other like this! We should just go in without them but we always walk in together. Usually you deserve my temper but-“you trail off. You are quite good at trailing. Some might consider you the best at it. You sigh deeply and look up at him. He’s smirking.

“Feeling gushy tonight” he laughs and it’s almost a giggle and it makes you want to punch and kiss him at the same time. “Did you watch a good rom com?”

“New in Town,” you mumble.

“The movie is so totally shitty though!” John makes a face. “That’s the one with Renee Zell whatever right? The main guy gets shot in the ass!”

“While I agree it is not up to par with her previous classic Bridget Jones’ Diary, Zellweger is charming in it,” you pause for breath. “And yes the main guy gets shot in the ass.”

“That was a bad movie, dude.”

“Like your shit eating taste is any better!”

“Just because I don’t like every romantic comedy that comes out does not mean I have bad taste.”

“Get bent, Egbert! I don’t want to look at your stupid, pretty face any longer.”

“Karkat, did you just call me pretty?” Oh no he’s smile smirking which is something he does because of his overly large teeth you’ve noticed. You feel like some sort of pervert when you admit, even if only to yourself, that you find it attractive.

“I would never-“ you are cut off.

“ Um excuse me?” a flustered looking member of the wait staff has come out of the building and is looking at the two of you wide eyed. She directs herself to John. “Sir, can you and your- um- boyfriend please stop loitering in front of the building? Some of our other customers complained.”

“You can tell your other customers they can eat-“a gloved hand is put over your mouth before you can finish your thoughts. If only your teeth were sharper you could perhaps do some damage.

“Tell them we are sorry,” John smiles and pulls you back. “We’re meeting some friends to eat here ourselves. They’re a little late.”

“You can wait inside then,” The waitress offers looking at you before immediately looking away frowning. 

“He’s fine,” John says with another dazzling smile. You think it should be illegal to look that beautiful but you do not voice this. “But our group is a bit large. We might need two tables.”

“How big is your party?”

“Sixteen.”

“You’re shitting me,” the waitress says then covers her mouth and blushes almost as badly as you. You almost feel for her. Your group is going to be obnoxious. They are getting to get stares and worse of all you are going to end up paying for most of the tip. Because that is just how it works.

“Believe me,” You say rolling your eyes,” I wish we were shitting you. I want to apologize beforehand for the ruckus those shit stains are going to cause because you can bet your ass they will. I will tip you double what I would normally tip because I am sure you will deserve it.”

She laughs. It reminds you of John’s in a way. It’s a light laugh.

“Well, please come in and wait,” she smiles and heads towards the door. “You make a cute couple by the way.” 

You sputter. You want to chase after her but you are frozen to the spot sputtering and moving your hands.

You are so caught off guard you do not recall how you got into the restaurant. The only thing that jolts you is that John has your hand in his. He continues to hold your hand till you get to your table with is just two tables put together.

“Why were you holding my hand, Egbert?” You ask as you take your seat. He is sitting across for you taking off his coat. 

“Cause we are,” you are almost positive there was an eyebrow waggle here, “Boyfriends after all!” You know he’s joking but you feel the urge to vomit. But perhaps not vomity vomit but like Cherry Garcia ice cream because hot damn Ben and Jerry’s have the best flavors of frozen milk ever or even compliments on how nice he looks in that button down and how he should wear them more often instead of wretchedly horrible “ironic” shirts that Strider always gives him. There is nothing amusing about a smoking Earth and the words: Keep it clean.

Wait. You are doing something here. 

“John, for the love of all that is that disgusting salamander you keep which I might add is in need of a bath and what in the ever loving fuck are you going to when someone comes to your shitty apartment and asks why you have an entire eco system in the corner?” You are on a roll now. Absolutely no one can stop you now. 

“Karkat” John says while you have taken a momentary pause for breath. You stop talking because the way he says your name makes something happen to your feelings. “Where are you going with this?” You try to fight down the red that’s creeping onto your cheeks as he finishes. The last thing John needs to know is that the syllables of your name when they leave his lips put you into this tizzy. 

You just used the word “tizzy”. You haven’t hated yourself this much in the last twelve seconds.

“What I was trying to say before your exceptionally poor pet keeping habits distracted me is that you have no right to call me your boyfriend,” You watch him look at you a frown on his perfectly sculpted face. Damn him. “Because you have not properly courted me. I am not a quirky red head from one of the eighties rat pack movies- which before you open your stupid mouth are at the height of cinema- so I am not asking for you to remember my Birthday when my entire family has forgotten. Yet I would like something because I mean I like you I guess as much as one would like a cat. Well perhaps more than that but not yet lingering into possible boyfriend perhaps only vacationing and taking in the sun but coming home to realize that said feeling has a sunburn right on its ass..”

What in the name of everything Holy are you saying? The words won’t stop. You. Are. Royally. Fucked. Your mind flashes to the time you did this to Terezi. Sometimes you like to sit and wonder why romance evades you but then moments like this happen and it becomes as blatantly obvious as spray painted dicks on walls. You do not understand why middle schoolers find this to be the height of comedy nor to you pretend to even when you yourself went to middle school.

You do not even try to conceal the blush on your face when he reaches his hand across the table to put it upon yours. He took off his gloves so you can see his skin, slightly tanned but the color is fading due to the oncoming winter. It contrasts with your natural shade which Kanaya has described as nice caramel but what you would call light brown. 

“I totally want you to burn your ass in boyfriend.” You cannot believe he just said that. You pull your scarf up to your nose.

“That was the dumbest thing any adult has ever said,” You look away as your nose feels like it’s on fire. “Especially in public. Do you have some disease? One in which you have to embarrass everyone in the vicinity of you at every given moment.”

“I haven’t been diagnosed,” John raises an eyebrow. “But I don’t think I want to be cured.”

You face palm. That might have been the worst joke in the history of your friendship with John. It makes you utterly ashamed of all of your feelings.

“Karkat, John?” You look over your shoulder to see Rose, Jade and Kanaya. Most of your group behind them.

Kanaya takes a seat next to you. She smiles and then looks concerned.

“Do you have a fever?” She brushes her hand on your forehead. “Does he have a fever? John, did you two wait outside too long.” You groan but maybe not so secretly you would probably fall apart if you didn’t have Kanaya. 

“Only if stupidity is a disease,” you grumble as you move her hand from your forehead. You can hear John laugh.

“Damn, Vantas already has his panties in a bunch?” You hear Strider say as he sits down.

“David, we are indoors, take off your sunglasses,” Kanaya chides as she looks away from you. You are almost positive Dave’s name is just Dave and there is no David attached but you are also pretty sure that Kanaya doesn’t give a rat’s ass either way.

“Can’t do,” Dave says leaning back in his chair. “I don’t want to cause the store any problems when the bitches start a swooning. I’m basically a walking liability.” 

He’s really just an idiot. You want to tell him that but he’ll go off on some extended metaphor that you really don’t feel like sitting through.

“When have any bitches swooned over you, Dummy?” Jade says and you could just start crying. Go Jade you inwardly chime rooting for her. 

“Just because we aren’t all grade Harley bitch magnets doesn’t mean I don’t get some,” Dave says leaning forward. Jade giggles. This is just simply what they do.

You stop listening to the conversation here.

Everyone shows up eventually. It happens to not be as bad as you predicted. Everyone ordered drinks without too much of a hassle and Eridan refrains from flirting with the waitress. Well. AT least he’s not being obvious about it.

The only mildly annoying thing was that Equius broke a glass. Yet is he didn’t break something you probably would be more surprised and even caught off guard.

You look down at your phone after everything is back to normal. You have four missed alerts. Two are texts from Kanaya from about thirty minutes ago telling you to be patient, that you shouldn’t have left without her if you were going to complain and that her attire is perfectly suitable for the occasion. You look up from your phone to check. Her earrings look a little too nice but if Kanaya wasn’t just a bit overdressed then she wouldn’t be your Kanaya. 

You look back down at your phone. The third text is one of those stupid chain mails from Terezi. She thinks they are funny. You suspect everyone has gotten it.

The final text is from John. You look up at him. He’s laughing at something Vriska said you are sure. You look back at your phone.

The text reads: hey karkat. Its john but you know that hehehe you look like you want to kill everyone. 

You smile despite yourself looking at the text. You text him back: THAT IS JUST MY DEFAULT FACE, DICK FOR BRAINS.

You send the text and then bite your lip. Perhaps that was too rude? You text again: YOU DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE DICKS FOR BRAINS BY THE WAY. You feel stupider for sending that text. You hope no one notices your embarrassment as you glance at your water. 

John laughs our loud. You can feel your face getting warmer.

“John?” Vriska is the first to ask. She makes his name sound like it has eight extra o’s. “You have gone completely insane. Not in a cool way like me though. In a you are making everyone kind of uncomfortable way. Way to go, loser.”

John rolled his eyes.

“I just remembered something funny.”

“By looking at your phone?” Rose asked folding her hands on top of one other. 

“I just love those chain mails Terezi sends,” John laughed. “Like clowns that wear your daughter’s skin to prom? Who comes up with that?” Terezi reached over to fist pump John. The moment, you figured, would probably be remembered as glorious instead of stupid. 

Things simmer down. Food is ordered. Your phone vibrates. Looking down you noticed it’s from John. It reads: Thanks for making me look dumb :B. I’ll forgive because you look really cute blushing like that.

You become immediately flustered. So flustered that you throw your phone across the table. It hits John square in the chest. Kanaya gasps putting a hand on your shoulder. It is silent until you hear a laugh. You look to your left mortified to see not only Jade trying not to double over in laughter but a waitress and a man a table over as well. John hands you your phone. You can’t read his face because you can’t bring yourself to look at him. Kanaya puts a hand on your shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She whispers to you. 

“When we get home,” you tell her with a sigh. You just want to drink tea and tell Kanaya why he is the biggest idiot on the planet and never be this flustered ever again in your entire life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for all the nice comments and kudos!

You are still Karkat Vantas and you are astonished. The dinner with the douchebags goes on with a hitch. You might even admit to be enjoying yourself. It was a nice evening and a few laughs were shared even after you royally embarrassed yourself.

It is time to give the tip. In the end the table makes a pool of about twenty dollars when it’s all said and done and you are pretty sure Terezi and Vriska didn’t put anything in but you aren’t going to be that guy. Not tonight. So you add in an extra ten this thus makes Kanaya and John put in an extra five. You are proud to be sitting at the same table as them.

“I don’t want to leave you guys yet!” Feferi whines. Jade nods in agreement.

“It’s just be so nice!” Terezi chimes in. “You all smell so wonderful.”

“Me and Kanaya’s place is the closet,” You say. “We could all go back there.”

Wait. Are you friend drunk right now? You just invited your friends to your house. That was the worst idea in the world.

“Let’s do it!”

“I’ll go pick up the stuff!”

“Karkat, do you think this is a good idea?”

The entire way home you are cursing your existence. Kanaya has a hand on your shoulder and is trying to help but you know she is excited so you try not to be too much of a whiny baby. Somewhere along the way you guys lose Aradia. She has work in the morning.

That was her excuse. She probably saw the train wreck that is going to be your apartment and decided to get the hell out of Dodge.

Aradia is a smart girl. You have no idea why you don’t talk to her more.

As you approach your apartment you are wishing more and more this wasn’t happening because inviting these douche lords to your apartment only means one thing: drinking.

You hate drinking. First of all, most of you are underage. You know that means jack shit in college. You get that. You do. But something about it reminds you of some poorly held teenage party where girls were drinking booze for the first time and calling it booze and the whole set up sickens you for reasons you can’t really put into words.

Second of all, you do not want to get drunk with John. Your feelings are a mess. They were, admittedly, a mess before tonight but now they have become much more relevant. You look over to where he is chatting with Dave and Virska. Wow. He is actually really attractive. In a really understated way. His face reminds you when you order coffee and you fall in love with the Barista for a second and plan your life with them and then they hand you the coffee and you leave a bit embarrassed of yourself. Being around John Egbert makes you have that kind of feeling always. You are in a perpetual state of coffee house puppy love.

Not love. You need a better word.

Wait, you were listing reasons why you hate drinking with your friends.

The last reason, and what some may argue the worst, you know they are all going to end up staying at your place because they can’t go back to the dorms or their respective apartments and it’s easier that way. You already know what they’ll say.

“It’s not like anyone has classes tomorrow.” There it is. Vriska has officially sealed your fate with her bright blue lips. Actually where does she even buy that stuff? Who does she think she is wearing bright blue lip stick on a daily basis? Have you ever seen her without the stuff?

You have all of the questions and none of the answers.

“Well we are going to excuse ourselves,” Equius says from behind Vriska. “Nepeta and I have business we need to attend to tomorrow and would rather not take part of such low brow entertainment. As much as it pains me to say.”

“What this loser means is that tomorrow we are helping out at the animal center!” Nepeta pops out from behind Equius. She is bubbly and small and her dark chocolate hair goes in directions that shouldn’t be natural. “ And Equius is a s sloppy drunk and can’t hold his alcohol!”

Equius looks embarrassed. You’d feel bad for him but Equius is a total freak and incapable of having pity put upon him. It might be because he is so tall. Or maybe it’s because he’s sweaty. It might be both. You’d put your money on the sweat.

“And I want to check on Aradia so bye!” Nepeta says and leaves like she came in. She’s like a storm. A too kawaii for her own good storm.

In the end Feferi and Eridan only stay for an hour. Eridan drinks too much too quick and spends too long trying to kiss Sollux, Rose, Vriska and he was making his way towards you when Feferi stopped it. Sometimes she is a goddess.

They left after Feferi made sure to give everyone a hug.

“Come here, Crab kat!!” She brings her huge grin to you. “I am a great hugger!”

“You can back that ass up Piexes and I do not mean that in a sensual club way,” you sputter putting our hands up. “I mean it in a I do not care if you won eighteen county fair hugging contests.”

She doesn’t care and gives you a hug. Feferi is a great hugger. It would be painful if she wasn’t just so good at it.

After a bunch of alcohol refusals, an eventual giving in, you think two( more like one and  a half) glasses of something, some coffee and what you think was a quick nap with your eyes open but you can’t really tell you are on the couch in between Kanaya and Jade. They were talking about if time really existed the last time you cared to listen.

From what you can gather now Jade is complaining about the apartment she shares with John, Dave and Rose.

“I mean it’s not like I hate living with them,” she says this sloppily. She is a sloppy drunk. “But like. I love it. They are my very best friends. Have I told you that? But like I just want to be able to touch myself in the shower. I just want that!”

Kanaya begins to giggle. You have no idea how you became privy to this conversation. You want to abscond so badly. You are close to the door. The park benches in this town aren’t too hard. The winter isn’t too cold. You are at an age where you can live out of 25 cense and your manhood. You have nothing to fear but fear itself.

And apparently your roommate’s loose lips.

“Karkat is such a good roommate,” Kanaya puts her hand on your shoulder and smiles. She is beautiful. You can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t fall in love with her. It is very hard to maintain some sort of allure when completely shit faced yet Kanaya manages. “Can I tell her about that one thing you did Karkat?”

“I don’t think it is proper drunk couch etiquette to talk about how nice your roommate is (I’m not that great anyhow) when your partner is complaining about their own,” You say wondering why you thought it would be a good idea to stay sort of sober. Maybe you’re just boring.

“One time he made a roommate scavenger’s hunt for my birthday!” Kanaya smiles leaning on you. She smells of vanilla vodka. You wonder how because you were pretty sure only rum and coke was busted out. “He left little notes and tiny presents and the last one were these herbal soaps I really wanted. Like who does that? Only my best best best friend in the world.” You find yourself blushing. Kanaya is too nice to you. If you weren’t already sure with your entire being that she deserved those soaps, you would be now.

“Oh my gosh,” Jade squeals and looks like she is dangerously close to pinching your cheeks. “That is so cute. I would just want to kiss you like all the time. Do you kiss him all the time, Kanaya? I want to kiss a roommate like all the time.”

You have a feeling Jade told you a little too much. You make a silent vow to never mention it when you all are sober. Even if you want to know which one she is talking about.

“So does Karkat,” Kanaya smiles and closes her eyes. You put your head in your hands.

“I am not a professional gossip referee but I think we need to stop.”

“Is it me?”

“It’s not you Jade.”

“Why not me?” Jade whines leaning back. “Is it my teeth?”

“What are you going on about, Harley?” You say this rolling your eyes. But then you look over and Jade has the misty beginnings of tears in her eyes and oh God no she has moved from giggly drunk to miserable drunk and there is literally nothing you can do now.

“I’m sorry,” Jade says wiping her eyes. “I just… I don’t know. Really like them.”

“Who is it?”

“Guess.”

“Is it John?” You are almost positive it isn’t but you just had to ask.

“Ew no,” Jade says shaking her head. “That would be like kissing my brother. Not sexy at all.”

You have to hold in the sigh of relief.

“Is it Rose?” This Kanaya. You look over at her quizically. If you didn't feel so light headed you'd question her about this.

“No…”

“Jade, God so help me please,” you say shaking your head- you had an idea it was that douchebag all along really. “Table flirting is one thing but you like,” you lower your voice to a whisper.

“Strider?”

“Is that bad?” Jade makes a face that is halfway in between complete and total anguish and having to vomit . You have absolutely no idea what to do now. “Is it because it’s weird and stupid and totally unnatural and I’m the biggest idiot ever?”

“No,” You say trying not to look too caught off guard because it is Dave Strider. “I mean it makes sense. I think it’s okay. You’re great so if he doesn’t see that he’s stupid but we already know that. Also it seems pretty natural to me… This kind of stuff always is.”

You nod. You are not very good with drunken girls. Actually you aren’t very good with girls for that matter or even people. You reach over to pat her shoulder. She looks up at you.

“You are so nice, Kar-Katta,” She giggles at what you assume is the new way she discovered to pronounce your name. “Like so nice. I came here and got so drunk. That is so rude! I think everyone is dead. Like dead dead. Well not dead but like the kind of dead where you wake up tomorrow with a worse head ache then Jade!” She looks like she just won the college drinking lottery. You assume she probably had. At least she seems in a more Jade state of mind.

“Serves you assholes right,” You say shrugging grabbing a throw blanket that you think Kanaya’s grandmother crocheted and putting it over Jade. “You have to think. What if I had the inhibitions of Madonna in the eighties? Then you’d all be shit faced and miserable.”

“I’m miserable,” You hear Vriska whine from under the table. You don’t see what happens but from the noises you figure it went down something like this: she forgot she was under a table, tried to get up too fast, hit her head, said fuck it and fell back to sleep.

“Don’t tell anyone about the liking a roommate thing,” Jade says closing her eyes. “It’s embarrassing.”

“I promise,” You say looking over at Kanaya.  Jade seems like she will survive without your attention.

Kanaya is also asleep on your other side. You brush her hair out of her face. You really do care about her. You’ll forgive her for tonight. Maybe you can convince her to make you her special tea in return for telling those things.

That thought makes you feel a tiny bit guilty but really a man’s never lived till he drinks that tea.

You jimmy yourself out of the feelings pile you are stuck in and go to the bathroom. Gamzee is in the tub.

You leave to go get a pillow. It has cats on it and it reads: Have a Meowry Christmas! It was Nepeta’s gift for Kanaya last year. All the cats have different hats on.

On second thought, this isn’t really a pillow you give a drunk in the bathtub. You trade it out for one that looks unassuming. Going back to Gamzee you readjust him and then leave him. He’s sticky and you wish you had never thought to touch him.

You finally get to the bathroom sink. You count the aspirin in the bottle. It’s enough. You grab some and put them next to Vriska with a note: I KNOW YOU CAN SWALLOW THESE BITCHES DRY, SERKET. AND SO HELP ME GOD IF I HAVE TO CLEAN UP VOMIT. YOU KNOW WHERE THE CLEANING SUPPLIES ARE.

You are sure some of your friends also need your assistance but you aren’t up to it right now. You really just want to go to sleep.

You make way to your bed and just collapse into it. Your arm hits something.

It’s a body. Oh no someone has died in your bed. This is why you need to take precautions. You should have taken a head count.

“Hello?” You say tentively. It’s not like it matters. Body’s don’t talk. The body moved. You have never been so relieved. You situate yourself so you can see over their back to see which one of the asses decided to take your bed. Probably Strider or Terezi, they seem perfectly capable of such shenanigans.

It’s not Strider or Terezi. It’s John. John Egbert is in your bed.

“No!” You half screech and fall over. It may have been a bit dramatic of you.

“What is it,” he sounds groggy but something about it is really sexy and he’s in your bed. What is he doing in your bed?

“This is my bed and when did I say you could sleep here?” you snap and he just snorts.

“It’s okay Karkat just go to sleep,” he is a bit hard to understand but takes the comforter and puts it over you as well. “I have a head ache.”

“Well you should have thought of that before you-“

“Shooosh.”

“Did you just shoosh me?” You turn around to face him. “John. You are not in that position.”

“Please Karkat,” he turns around and looks at you. He’s disheveled. It’s really not a fair move on his part.

“If you touch me-“

“You’ll just let it happen?” He chuckling now and you want to die.

“You’re terrible.”

“Just go to sleep, Karkat,” he says in a smooth voice. It does something to you because you fall asleep rather quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. this is just where I wanted to explain some of the living situations in case I mention them later without any explanation.  
> John, Rose, Dave and Jade share an apartment closer to the college then Kanaya and Karkat do. None of them drive.  
> Karkat's and Kanaya's is farther away. They share use of Kanaya's car and it works for the most part.  
> Nepeta and Aradia are roommates in the dorms and Feferi is their suite mate.  
> Vriska and Terezi also live in the dorms.  
> Eridan has an almost too nice apartment and offers Feferi a room all the time. She never says yes.  
> Equius lives with his brother. But is often found checking up on Nepeta and the girls.  
> Tavros and Gamzee are roommates in the dorms.  
> No one's ever been to Sollux's but the general assumption is that he lives in an apartment with or without a roommate.
> 
> A part of that was really just for me so I don't ever forget it hahaha.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You open your eyes to get a face full John Egbert. He is drooling. It’s not attractive at all. Okay, that might be a lie. It’s a teeny bit cute. Like a puppy that just peed on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos! I'm sorry it took me so long to anyone who likes this. It takes me ages to get into the mood to write! I'll try to be more regular but you know how college is.

You aren’t necessarily a morning person but you also not one those people who are completely useless at day break. Yet you can still taste the alcohol in your mouth and it makes you sick. You didn’t drink nearly enough to be terribly hung-over as well as you sobered over the fastest, you think. There is a bit that you can’t remember clearly.

You can recall foggily Eridan complimenting your ass and Terezi walking on her hands and then nothing is super clear. The next thing you remember more clearly is the feelings jam with the girls on the couch.

You are slightly disappointed that you remember that Jade let it slip that she is harboring some affection for Strider. You were hoping you would forget that.

Anyways, your head hurts a little bit and you don’t want to get up. You are still sleepy. You finally notice the pressure on your lower back. In retrospect you will probably have no idea why you thought this, but you immediately think a masked murderer has snuck into your home and has killed everyone. There is no hope for you, you think, as you quietly think your last thoughts. You hope Kanaya makes tea in the afterlife too.

Moments after not dying you decide you are okay. But what in the world is that pressure? You turn around and it goes away. You decided even in your stupor that having something like that just disapear is odd. You open your eyes to get a face full John Egbert. He is drooling. It’s not attractive at all. Okay, that might be a lie. It’s a teeny bit cute. Like a puppy that just peed on the floor.

You just compared the boy you might like to a puppy covered in its own urine. You wonder if it’s too late for that whole masked killer thing to still happen.

You regain consciousness and realize that you are currently the little spoon to John’s big spoon. It actually makes you laugh. That’s so cliché. You cannot even believe your life right now. You both fell asleep a little tipsy (well you were, John might’ve been completely hammered). Now you are cuddling, if it wasn’t so ridiculous you might enjoy it.

You sigh before getting up. Letting John wake up to you would be too ridiculous. You wouldn’t stand for it especially since you are almost positive he’d say something stupid as shit. Like: “Wow, Karkat, cute bed head!” or “Hahahaha morning breath, dude!” You groan as you are almost positive it’d be the later.

John grumbled in his sleep like a child. It’s positively adorable and you want to kiss him. This thought makes you turn red as you turn away from the bed. You make a mental note that it is simply not healthy for you to share a bed with John. It makes you lightheaded.

You walk over to your dresser to fetch some news clothes. Well, to change your shirt. You fell asleep in an undershirt and it’s cold and you just want to be in a sweater. When this is finished you leave before sneaking one last look at John in your bed. You are not entirely sure when an opportunity like this will happen again and you want to etch the moment in your memory.

The sight that awaits you is even more ridiculously stereotypical then what you woke up too. In the night, you may as well have been written into a romantic comedy.

Kanaya must have pushed (?) Jade off the couch because she’s face ground on floor with her legs all tangled in Strider whose glasses are nowhere to be seen. Vriska is still under the table. Terezi is… is that crazy b in your sink? She is literally asleep sitting in the sink. Tavros is asleep by the fridge.  

Finally you notice Rose sitting by your dining table, sipping on a mug of what you hope is coffee.

Sollux is nowhere to be seen. You actually can’t remember seeing him when you went to bed, maybe he left around Eridan and Feferi did? That is until you notice that Rose is pointing to the closet near the entrance to the apartment is open. Sollux is sleeping in there with no shirt on.

“Before you ask, I have no idea how he got there,” Rose says leaning her head on one of her hands.

“How about Terezi?”

“If I remember correctly, it was a dare from Dave? But he never came back and she couldn’t get out and then I think she just accepted it and fell asleep,” Even Rose can’t keep a straight face telling this story, putting a hand over her mouth to hide her amused giggles.

You laugh too. You can’t even be mad at them when they are like this.

 “I hope you don’t mind that I used your coffee pot,” She says sleepily and rubs her eyes. She’s actually really pretty too. Even in day old clothes and no make-up. You just need to accept that all your female friends are beautiful, even the ones sleeping in places they shouldn’t be.

“It’s completely okay,” You say going behind the imitation door that Kanaya put up to make a dining room claiming it really made the space more livable. Whatever.  “Thank you.”

You make yourself a mug. You are using the mug that Strider gave you on your last birthday. It has a lot of crabs on it when the words:  Jacksonville Crab palooza. You are pretty sure he has never been to any of the Jacksonville’s in America but you still enjoy the mug.

You wander back out and sit next to Rose. Her lips are touching a cigarette. You know she’s not dumb enough to lite up in your apartment but it’s still odd.

‘”I thought you quit?”

“I did.”

“Then what’s up with this?”

“It just calms me down,” She says putting it to her lips. “Like I read that sometimes having one around makes you calm and that way you can wean yourself off of the real thing. It’s physiological torture though.” She laughs and takes another sip of coffee.

“Now you know how we feel when you leave a ‘particularly interesting psyche class’,” You look at her and she just smiles. “Why don’t you try an electric one?”.

 “It doesn’t feel as good,” Rose smiles. “I can’t even remember why I started. I know all the disgusting details and all that shit that goes into these things but I still started. Maybe as some sort of teenage rebellion? Maybe I thought it was 'cool'” she does a hearty laugh here. "Reminds me of Dave when we were in highschool."

Rose isn’t really talking to you; you are almost positive of this. She’s talking to herself mostly. Actually she’s never this upfront with you. It’s probably because you caught her doing this.

“Actually I was going to smoke this,” She says and leans on the table. “Will you throw it away for me?” She puts the cigarette in front of you dropping it by your mug. She looks away, probably embarrassed you figure.

You wordlessly go to the trash and drop it in. She doesn’t watch.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

You two lapse into a quiet moment of peace. You two have situations like this sometimes. Rose isn’t the type to want to fill the void of silence with useless words. You like that about her. She’ll talk your ear off but at the same time she will keep you company in silence. It’s sometimes nice to be around someone like that.

Kanaya is the next to wake up. She looks lost for a second and then notices you and Rose. She blushes softly before getting her own mug of coffee.

“How long have you guys been awake?”

“About  forty minutes,” Rose says taking a sip. “Karkat woke up about ten minutes after me.” Kanaya nods and takes a drink.

“Why do we do this?” she asks placing her head on the table.

“I don’t know,” you say put your hand on her back. You probably should have watched her more carefully. She’s a lightweight and is probably a bit hung-over. “Is your stomach okay? You should probably drink some water.”

You remember your first time drinking. It was your first year of college. Kanaya got so sick and spent a while in the toilet crying asking if you thought she was trashy. She kept on apologizing and telling you how much she cared about you. As that would disgust some it only made you like her more.

Kanaya doesn’t know it but she probably is one of the people you care about the most. Well, she might know it. You hope she does.

“I’ll get a glass,” Kanaya says and goes to get some water. She comes back gulping it down. You watch in semi-disbelief.

“I’m hungry,” she says when she finishes.

You laugh at her. So does Rose.

“Do we still have pancake mix?” she asks getting up. You are pretty sure she is the only person who wants pancakes after a night of drinking. She looks through your selves and comes back with two boxes. Rose gets up too and soon enough you are making pancakes.

“That’s not how you do it, Karkat…”

“What is it that even supposed to be? Saturn?”

“Like you bitches are all of the sudden pancake professionals. I didn’t know I was in the company of the queens of breakfast pastries. Excuse me.”

Pretty soon all of the others get up. Jade looks embarrassed to be tangled in Dave but she smells the food and comes to you all. She looks at you a bit sadly but you just smile. You hope she gets that it means you’re safe with me and I don’t think Kanaya remembers. You think the point is made because she socks you in the shoulder playfully.

Jade has a mean punch because you are pretty sure a playful sock is not supposed to hurt this much.

“Jade, don’t break Vantas’ flipping arm,” Dave says. He’s quite a sight. Hair a mess and no sun glasses on. He seems to be looking for them though. “You are messing with perfection.”

Jade laughs and points him in the direction of his shade. You have to admit it’s pretty cute. You could even say you ship it. You know that somewhere Nepeta is very proud of you.

One by one all your friends get up. Even Gamzee gets up from the bathtub and helps Terezi out of the sink.

Terezi demands that they find some chocolate chips to put into the pancakes and somehow finds some. Vriska asks if she can put headache medicine in hers and an entire discussion discussing the logistics of that said act are discussed.

You don’t know when this happens but someone informed Feferi about the pancake party who made sure to send a group text to everyone even people who were already there that read ---EM-- ERG--ENCY PANCAK-E PARTY!!!!  and pretty soon all of your friends are in your apartment again bringing more pancake mix.

You have no idea what you are going to do with it actually. You make a mental note to check the internet for new ways to use pancake mix because you and Kanaya are going to have at least four boxes of the stuff after this.

“Didn’t you have to help out at the animal shelter?” Kanaya asks Nepeta who laughs.

“Don’t ya’ll know what time it is?” She laughs a hearty laugh for someone her size. “It’s past one!”

Everyone just looks at each other before laughing. This would happen. Your life is slowly becoming a movie. Not that you mind too badly.

“Where’s John?” Jade asks wiping a laughter tear from her eyes. “Is he up yet?”

“He’s must still be in my bed,” You muse before regretting everything that has ever come out of your mouth. Everyone looks at you.

They are fucking vultures, every single last one of them.

You think about leaving again. You could just leave. Leave the shallow existence of Karkat Vantas behind. You could survive without college and join a circus. Living life as a side show attraction can’t be that bad. You are pretty sure that you would be quite good at it.

You are thinking about what your attraction would be when they close in on you. That’s it. You missed your chance to escape.

All of their voices come at you at once. This is what you can make out.

“What is John doing in your bed, Karkat?” Kanaya.

“Ew….” Vriska.

“Did you make miracles, little soul bro?” Gamzee.

“Wow, I didn’t know you have it in you, Vantas.” Dave.

“Oh my glob!!!!!!” Feferi.

“No fair Karkat!!!!” Eridan.

The rest just blends together. You hold your head.

“You are all idiots, first of all,” You hold your head sighing. “Like most of you, he was drunk off his ass last night and came into my bed. And he’s bigger than me so it’s not like I can just push him away.”

This didn’t look like it satisfied them.

“That’s boring,” Jade whispered to Feferi and Nepeta who just nodded.

John picks this moment to come stumbling out of your room with his shirt off. He's an idiot.  This entices squeals. You would kill him if he wasn’t so attractive.

"I'm cold," he says sleepily as he walks over to where the pancakes are. " I want one." This only makes the mood softer. You thank the world for once for his light hearted personality. It is, after all, what you like the most about him. The second thing you like about him is how good he looks in those pants.

There is something seriously wrong with you. You go red up to your ears as you sigh and take a bite of a pancake trying to avoid staring at John’s torso, failing miserably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is a little slow. Hopefully more will happen in the next chapter and this will probably set in a perpetual winter


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> . Because what if you are working over a body and suddenly you get distracted by the commercial before the news about cereal and if the main woman had dentures on and oh no your name is Dr. Karkat Vantas and you just killed a man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! It makes me happy that people like this silly johnkat thing I started to write on a whim. Sorry, this chapter is a bit short.

You are pretty sure that God sculpted John’s torso for your immediate viewing pleasure. You have to look away because you start to feel a little bad ogling so openly. The last thing you need is someone with a love for pointing things out, here’s looking at Terezi, Nepeta, and Strider, to notice you doing the once over on John.

“John, where did you put your shirt?” Rose is the first one to ask John about all of his life choices. It is followed suit by everyone asking him variations on the shirt and why he was in your bed. You just continue to drink your coffee concentrating on not blushing.

“It was late and I was tired and drunk so I stumbled into one of the rooms,” John starts but pauses to take a bite of food. He eats his pancakes plain mostly with a little bit of syrup on the side of his paper plate. He’ll occasionally dip a bite in it. “I actually thought I was in Kanaya’s because wow does Karkat’s room smell nice. Like you guys need to smell it. Any ways I get to the bed and I think: wow.  I  just won the lottery, no one took a bed. So I just lay down in it. And then I think Karkat comes in and gets mad, you do that a lot dude, and the he falls asleep and then I get hot so I take my shirt off. That’s how it happened.”

You have no idea how you missed John not having a shirt on this morning. How could you have missed that?

“So did you and Vantas get any action?” This comment by Dave about causes you to choke. You hate Dave Strider. You cannot even fathom why someone as good as Jade would like him. John only laughs.

Dude, no!” He says in between laughs. “Me and Karkat aren’t like that! We’re just two friends sharing a bed. There was no butt touching or inappropriate cuddling! Like that would ever happen.” That comment hurts more then you thought it would.

“Yeah,” You say trying not to sound too disappointed.  It wasn’t like you were expecting much. John was probably kidding when he told you those things at the restaurant, all just to get his stupid prankster’s gambit up.

Actually, what in the hell is a prankster’s gambit and you are pretty sure you should stop referring to it when one graduates the third grade.

“None of that silly shit” You continue about shoving an entire pancake in your mouth. “There is absolutely nothing going on between us. At all. Were you expecting us to declare we were in a relationship, an exchanging of rings and sweet nothings about how much we care about each other? Cause like John said, like that would happen.”

There is a silence here. John has an expression on his face you can’t read. You don’t care to read it. You spend the rest of the morning avoiding him. It’s childish and makes you feel like you are in grade school. It doesn’t make the sad feeling go away.

The impromptu pancake party other than that is mostly a success. You are pretty sure you won’t need to see all of your friends at one time again at least for a week or two. They have completely filled up the quota, adorable bastards that they are.

It is about three until they all leave. The second Kanaya wishes Aradia and Nepeta well she comes after you.

“What was that about, Karkat?” She asks looking at you like a hawk. You know she wants to meddle.

“What do you mean?”

“John.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you tell her giving her a smile. This doesn’t look like it pleases her. “I’m going to get some work done.” You proceed to leave her and go to your room.

You look at the bed. You are going to have to change the sheets when you are done. You go to your desk and sit down sighing. The last thing you want to do is study but you need to and it will most likely get your mind off of things.

After an hour of what might have been the most useless studying and stumbling through school work you have ever done in your entire life you sigh deeply. You are actually quite passionate about what you were studying. Biology is actually something that interests you greatly and wow the entire process of reproduction in bivalves on the cellular level is actually quite riveting but your mind is going in a million different places and you are wondering if being a hopeful med student, as of right now anyways you aren’t completely sure about what you want to do yet, might have been a bad idea. Because what if you are working over a body and suddenly you get distracted by the commercial before the news about cereal and if the main woman had dentures on and oh no your name is Dr. Karkat Vantas and you just killed a man.

You look back at your school work. You still need to read about fifty pages more; it’s eyeing you like: c’mon Karkat, you useless sack of water, flesh and emotion, if you do not finish me you will kill someone.

It’s days like this where you wonder why you don’t go to therapy more often but then you remember that one time you called a therapist a “a brain-dead stupid bitch that should be glad someone wants to reproduce with her before they see how shitty of a person she is”. In retrospect, you are sure she was a nice person it was just that 13 year old you wasn’t in a very good place. This is still something you go over with your current therapist who is wonderful woman named Felicia Foster.

Therapy has it rewards you mull over trying to get the strength to read. You wonder why it’s looked down in modern society as you finally focus on the chapter.

“Karkat,” Kanaya says from behind you. She smells like tea and that excites you as you finish the last page. “Would you like some tea?”

“Yes, please,” You say adjusting your glasses on your face. “How do you know when I need this? It’s quite disarming, actually.”

“Here,” Kanaya hands you a mug ignoring your comments. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

“Do you want to talk about it now?”

“Not really.”

 “I’m here when you’re ready,” Kanaya says as if you didn’t already know that. She looks down at your book. “That looks absolutely horrid. How do you manage? I can’t even imagine reading a page.”

“It’s not as bad as you think,” You assure her taking a sip. It’s wonderful.

“I’d be half enjoying it if my mind wasn’t everywhere. I was thinking about therapy for a while there.”

“I think that is your subconscious willing to think about anything but this,” Kanaya points to the book taking a sip of her own drink. She blows on it softly. She is weak to such things.

“Maybe, but I think it’s all due to my crippling personality.”

“You always were the type to dabble into different levels of self-deprecation.”

“I think you have been spending too much time with Rose. You sound like her.”

“Speaking of Rose, I actually had something I wanted to ask you,” Kanaya says setting her cup down. You eye her suspiciously. It isn’t like Kanaya to use her tea to bribe you but you are beginning to think her making it had something to do with this.

“You remember how Rose works at that coffee shop bar thing?” Kanaya starts and you snort at how accurate of a description that is for Rose’s place of work. “ Well, they are quite shorthanded and are looking for someone to fill a spot and I can’t because I’m too busy with all that I have going on and I might have mentioned how as certain roommate of mine is rather free. It’s at six and it would mean the world to me if you would,” Kanaya finishes avoiding your gaze. She is biting her lip and then she turns to face you, eyes full of remorse. She knows she has a face that is hard to say no to, and now the sneaky vixen is trying it on you. If you weren’t mildly annoyed with her it might have been laughable.

“Why would you say that, Kanaya?” You start to get up. “I mean, what if I had important plans? And why such short notice? You give me about forty minutes notice and expect everything to run smoothly? I am not a mild mannered lackey you can just use at your will. I will not stand to be paid in tea. You should be ashamed of yourself, Maryam. You just used your tea for evil and that is something you will have to live with not me.”

“Please, Karkat!” Kanaya grabs your shoulder. She looks at you earnestly. “It was word vomit and before I knew it I was giving her information I didn’t know for sure. You don’t have to continue work and it’s a paid gig! It’s also music night tonight so maybe there will be some cute band members! Karkat, I know you. I distinctly remember that time we were watching Inception and you kept looking at Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s butt in those tight pants. I know your infinity for nice, hipster butts.”

“Please do not bring my affinity for a nice piece of ass into this,” You try to get to the door but she blocks you. “You are playing dirty, Maryam. But I guess I agree.” Kanaya squeals and grabs you embracing into a hug. She’s usually cold and some would say that she’s difficult to hug being so thin and cold and tall but there are few people you would rather have in your arms.

“Thank you!” She releases you and smiles. “I’ll drive you and will be able to pick you up but maybe you’ll have to wait because I’m helping the drama department with their costumes, is that okay?”

“That’s fine, I’m sure there will be plenty of PBR half drunks will be there to keep my company,” You laugh and adjust your glasses. “I’m sure we will have a hell of a time discussing how great Bright Eyes was in 2010 and how the quality of Connor’s, if I have to be completely honest I really don’t give a shaved rat’s ass to remember his last name, music has gone done when he went sober instead of congratulating a man on his struggle and eventual overcoming of an addiction I mean god damn at least pretend like you meet the minimum standard for qualifying as a decent human being.”

“Have you had this conversation before because that is oddly specific,” Kanaya laughs covering in her mouth. “Wear your glasses. They look good on you.” This makes you blush despite yourself.

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere, I already agreed,” You brush her away from you. “What do I need to wear?”

This lights Kanaya up. You proceed to spend the next thirty minutes with Kanaya trying on new clothes and comparing the shade of light aquamarine to soft cobalt. You are finally dressed looking into Kanaya’s full length mirror. As a finishing touch, Kanaya tousles your hair a bit.

“You have such nice hair,” She says adjusting your glasses. You grumble a bit.

“Stop acting like I am your precious son going off on his first day of kindergarten,” You pat her hands away from you. “I will not need a homemade lunch or anything like that.”

“I just want to make sure you look nice,” she sounds vaguely hurt but you are sure she will get over it. “You never know what might happen.”

“Please,” you say looking away from the mirror, “You make it sound as if my life has suddenly turned into a romantic comedy. Tonight I meet the person of my dreams. We kiss into the sunset.”

“You act as if the idea of kissing someone at sunset completely disgusts you.”

“I’m going to the car,” You turn around. You won’t admit it to Kanaya but you are almost always secretly hoping that someone kisses you into the sunset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where Karkat just worries a lot. Thank you for reading! I promise the next chapter will have more going on!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is your little monologue over?” You ask looking away from her. You’ll probably start to blush soon as if you really need to add the embarrassment. “I hope you aren’t the second lead in this movie because I’m afraid we can be nothing more than friends. So if I catch you running in there in a jealous rage while I am getting chatted up by a particularly cute drunk I have some bad news for you.”

You wouldn’t say that Kanaya is a horrible driver but God help the poor bastard who suffers from motion sickness that gets into the car with her. She has the horrible habit of changing speeds within a moment’s notice.  You are relieved nonetheless that her mother’s old car was an automatic not a stick because you do not know if even your rock solid stomach could handle Kanaya behind the wheel of a stick.

“Do you take a left here,” she mumbles half to herself and half to you as she takes the turn. You use to answer her when she did this. Not anymore.

You fall into silence.  An uncomfortable vibration starts on your leg. ‘Hey Kar!’ the text from Eridan reads. Eridan is an insufferable douchebag sometimes but you’d be lying if you said that you hated being around him. You actually like being around Eridan more than some of the other people you know. He’s incredibly bearable when he isn’t spouting nonsense about relationships or trying to start one with you (this happens a bit more then you’d like for it to).

In the middle of you texting Eridan he sends you another message. Talking to him is fine. His company is more enjoyable then not but texting him never ceases to annoy you. It takes a bit for anyone to write a text. You are not going to send him one .5 seconds after he sends his. You have told him this. That doesn’t stop him from sending you ten ‘wwhy are you ignoring me, Kar?’ texts.

‘ERIDAN. STOP. WHAT DO YOU WANT?’ You sigh. You look over to Kanaya. She has a very serious face when driving. She looks like a puffer fish. You take down a mental note to never say that outloud

‘Jeez, Kar. So a guy can’t talk to one of his closest friends without getting yelled at. Wwhatever. I see how it is.’

‘HOW DO YOU KNOW I AM YELLING? I AM NOTHING BUT CALM. I AM ON THE ROAD TO GETTING MY SECOND DEGREE IN CALM. MY FIRST BEING A BACHELOR’S OF COMPOSED.’

‘shut up, kar. Ugh I can hear you from here.’

'THAT DOESN’T ANSWER MY QUESTION, AMPORA'

'WWhatever, sorry.  Anywways, I just got back from dinner with my dad (It was at this incredible place, kar. Like, you would step in and knoww you were too poor for it) and I have the leftovers for you because I am such a good friend.’

You stare at the text. There are so many reasons why you should be mad at him. He is probably the most insensitive person you know. He’s an idiot. To think that he genuinely thought that the idea of getting to eat his leftovers was probably a treat to you. You sigh. He probably thinks that he is doing a great feat for you, that you are overjoyed by reading that text.

He’s known you for a long time and he stills thinks he is doing good by you. It’s actually a little great. It’s just so Eridan of him you can’t be too mad. But he still needs to know you think he’s a moron.

‘YOU ARE AN IDIOT TO THINK I WANT YOUR SCRAPS. I AM NOT YOUR DOG LOVINGLY WAITING FOR YOU TO DROP YOUR LEAST FAVORITE FOOD BY THE KITCHEN TABLE. BUT I CAN’T COME OVER ANYWAYS. I’M HELPING OUT AT ROSE’S WORK TONIGHT.’

‘But kar!!!!!!  Wwhy!!!!? You have plans wwith me!’

‘ONE.  I NEVER MADE PLANS WITH YOU. YOU MADE PLANS WITH YOU. TWO. I AM DOING KANAYA AND ROSE A FAVOR. KANAYA IS DRIVING ME NOW’

‘Just say no!!!!!’

You sigh and press the phone to your forehead. You could probably inflict pretty heavy brain damage with a hard enough hit with this thing.

As if she is some sort of texting clairvoyant, Kanaya clears her throat.

“You’re texting Eridan aren’t you?” she says this laughing. “I can feel the mild annoyance one gets when texting that airhead.”

“He’s an idiot,” you say not looking up from your phone. You bite your lip trying to think of a good answer. You could just ignore the idiot or block his number, again but that will only cause you more headaches in the long run. So you tell him ‘I AM A MAN OF MY WORD, AMPORA. I AM ONLY TOO SORRY YOU DO NOT HAVE THE MORAL COMPASS OF I.’

‘That’s not a real reason.’

‘NO IS NO.’

‘Tell Kanaya I hate her.’

“Eridan says he hates you,” You tell Kanaya not quite sure as you do it if it’s the right idea. Kanaya and Eridan have a very strange relationship. They were actually the very best of friends at one point in their life, before you and Kanaya became so close. The story goes that Eridan told everyone she was a lesbian nd even threw around some slurs that Kanaya didn’t talk to him for three months and she said was that he was dead to her. The rumor goes as far as to say that the only reason they are civil now is because of the mutual friend group.

What really happened is a bit dumber, you heard it from Kanaya herself and she laughed a really hearty laugh when you called it dumb.  The setting is the eighth grade. Two students are very confused about sexuality and start kissing girls and boys respectively. They both fall for the school idol. They fight. Verbal attacks run high and the battle field is nigh with them.  The fight escalates to a fist fight. Both had to be taken to the hospital. They still carry the battle wound scars to this day.

The remnants of the fight are still apparent and the two can go from being friends to just being docile with one other to arguing tooth and nail . Kanaya still complains that he is the most difficult person she has ever had to deal with and as far as you know Eridan has never called Kanaya anything worse than a bitch and Kanaya has only gone as far as to tell him to get out of her life in a half jest. Still you aren't quite sure where the two stand as of this moment.

“Tell him I am literally sobbing,” Kanaya giggles turning the wheel. “Like we are in a danger of an accident I am crying so hard.” So you do.

‘I don’t actually hate her. Stop making me out to be the bad guy kar!’ You have to laugh at this one. You explain the situation to Kanaya who tries hard not to laugh.

“Just tell him I’ll come by later,” Kanaya says. You are getting close to Rose’s now.

‘KANAYA SAYS SHE’LL HANG OUT WITH YOU LATER.’

‘’WWell at least someone cares about me. She’ll be late right? She’s helping the drama club thing right?’

‘HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT.’

‘Cause I actually listen when my friends talk. Wwoww. Wwho do you take me for? I am starting to think you don’t evven deservve me.’

‘WHATEVER. SORRY. I HAVE TO GO NOW. BYE.’

Eridan sends you a blank text so you can only assume the text was actually around three  emojis. You don’t have an iphone. This is a topic that you have discussed with Eridan.

Kanaya stops the car.

“We’re here.”

“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” you brush your hair away from your face trying to avoid biting your lip. “I mean I’m not a great server and I’ve only had one job like this and it was waiting on tables at some family restaurant.”

“Stop fidgeting,” Kanaya unbuckles herself and looks at you. “That is a perfect pre-requisite for this position.  You’re just making yourself nervous. Actually, I was going to ask Aradia to do this but I asked you before her.”

“Why didn’t you just-“

“Shut up for a minute, Karkat,” Kanaya scolds and so you close your mouth. “I thought it might distract you. You’ve been a bit of a roller coaster of emotion lately, don’t speak. I live with you. I notice things. I also have an inkling of why this has been.  So maybe you’ll like the job, get paid and meet some new people. You study entirely too much to the point that I am certain you understand the material. So just live a little!”

“Is your little monologue over?” You ask looking away from her. You’ll probably start to blush soon as if you really need to add the embarrassment. “I hope you aren’t the second lead in this movie because I’m afraid we can be nothing more than friends. So if I catch you running in there in a jealous rage while I am getting chatted up by a particularly cute drunk I have some bad news for you.”

“I am sure you wouldn’t say that after you see how dashing I am,” Kanaya smiles putting her hand on your shoulder. “Do you want me to walk you in?”

“No,” You say opening the passenger door. “That would be a little weird. Also you’re too pretty for me and everyone would be asking me questions about it all night.” Kanaya laughs perhaps a bit too loudly.

“Okay, I’ll pick you up around eleven thirty okay?”

“Just get going already.”

You watch her leave. If you had to be candid with your feelings you would admit that you would have liked to have Kanaya go with you but you aren’t a child anymore. There are just some things a person has to do by their self. This happens to be one of them you suppose.

You walk up to the bar. It is appropriately named “The Place”. You assume this is because there is no real way to describe it but that. It’s kind of cheeky. A little understated.  All in all, a pretty okay name for a hipster hangout.

You walk in. You immediately see Rose. She is wearing an entire outfit made of shades of purple. Not many people would be able to get away with that but somehow Rose looks really nice. She notices you and brings up a hand and motions for you to come over.

“Karkat,” She says as you approach pursing her lips together. “Please tell me you are the person that Kanaya sent down.”

“I am,” You try to look reliable. You aren’t quite sure you are succeeding. “Let me guess, she just told you she wasn’t the one coming.”

“I guess you two really do live together,” Rose looks amused by this. “Thank you for coming. Let me introduce you to the manager.”

The manager is as imposing man. He’s probably at least 70% muscle and body hair you figure to the point where the Wolverine wants to look like this guy.

He firmly shakes your hand. It stings afterwards. You have never felt so weak in your entire life.

 You do not remember his name after meeting him but you do know that he called you darling and complimented your disposition. You can honestly say that no one has ever complimented you on your disposition. You are almost positive that your disposition is in actuality one of your worst qualities as a human being.

“He’s just like that.” Rose reassures you as you walk away. “By the end of the night he will probably get whisked away by some young cutie. If you play your cards right it could be you.”

“Please don’t tell me that Rose,” You groan as you tie on an apron that you almost don’t remember getting handed to. “He is not quite the distraction I am looking for thank you.”

“What are looking for?”

“I am not doing this with you right now.”

Rose just smiles.

You get behind the bar counter. There aren’t a lot of people there yet and you can see the first act setting up. During a particular slow moment Rose approaches you.

“Dave’s going to be here tonight.”

“So?”

“He makes Jade and John go to all of his shows.”

“Rose, if you have some psychoanalysis bullshit you want to say to me I suggest you just say it because I am not in the mood to decipher any of your cryptic messages today,” You tell her as you make some drink. You were surprised that they gave you this job so early on but then you realized it’s actually pretty simple and most people aren’t ordering anything crazy anyways. Rose takes care of the harder things. You have mainly been cleaning and serving.

“I’m just saying that the last time I was with you and John there was some tension.”

“I don’t know why you want to have this conversation,” You tell her turning to look at her. “What do you want to gain from this?” She stands cold as you say this. There is no direct reaction to your words on her face.

“I’m just a concerned friend and roommate,” Rose says this dryly. You understand now. She has John’s best interest in mind. She’s making sure you don’t do anything unnecessary when he arrives. It actually makes you feel quite dumb and embarrassed because you probably look like the shitty one right now. To just blow up at a friend for a simple joke and then ignore him quite openly. Kanaya wouldn’t say anything about it but you were probably more in the wrong then John was. You were the one that wasn’t honest.

But feelings suck and you were getting hopeful. You want to tell Rose this but that would probably something deemed as unnecessary.

“Don’t worry,” You tell her turning around. “I’m not mad at John. I’m mainly mad at me, to be quite honest.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“No offense or anything, but you’re the last fucking person I would ever want to talk to about this actually,” You say looking over your shoulder at her.

“Even after our pancake bonding session?” Rose smiles back at you.

“Sorry,” You tell her shrugging. “I’ll discuss with you all my fears at the age of ten if you want. As collateral.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” Rose says with a smile at her lips. “You sure are prickly. I thought you might have hit me.”

“You’re not the first person to tell me that,” You focus your attention to wiping down the counter. “I try not to get physical with people. I’m short.”

Rose snorts. This confuses you because you have never seen her do anything out right vulgar.

“You really are short,” is all Rose says wiping a laughter tear from the corner of her eyes. You are confused but you let the conversation die.

Things pick up. You chat with some girl names Tina and her boyfriend for a little bit on and off. She’s a reporter and kind of a dumbass and she tells you about fishing violations. The story is quite riveting. Eventually they leave. No one else that interesting comes up.

 You are pretty sure in between serving you saw Strider but you can’t be sure because it was just the back of his head. You are mildly embarrassed you can recognize the back of his head in all honesty and spend a good fifth teen minutes convincing yourself that it wasn’t him.

Eventually you actually do see Strider and Jade. Much to your dismay, the back of the head you noticed actually did belong to Dave. They see you and wave. Jade pulls Dave over.

“Karkat!” she exclaims perhaps too loudly. “Rose never told us you work here.”

“Yeah, I haven’t seen you at the other talent nights.”

“I don’t,” You tell them scanning the growing crowd of people behind the two. “I’m here as a favor. You just missed Rose. She went in the back to grab some things.”

“She always disappears when we try to talk to her,” Jade says bouncing of her feet.

“She’s probably sneaking a shot,” Dave says looking over you and to the back door. This earns him a kick leg from Jade and a look that reads: why would you say that even though it might be true.

“He’s just being stupid.”

“Rude, Jade.”

“You both are giving me headaches by the sheer theatrics of what is going on right now,” You say crossing your arms. “This isn’t a nineties sitcom. There is no laugh track. Please park your chumminess elsewhere.”

“What is that even supposed to mean?” Dave tilts his head a bit to the side.

“Yeah, Karkat,” Jade looks generally confused. “I didn’t quite follow that analogy.”

Before you have a chance to say anything you hear it.

“Jade, Dave!”

You recognize that voice as John’s immediately. He pops out from behind Dave as if from nothing. He looks a bit sweaty as if he really was earnestly trying to search for them in the crowd of people. It’s reminiscent of a mother trying to find a child in a super market.

“You didn’t have to leave without me!” John looks like he hasn’t noticed you. That makes sense you think. He’s so sweaty because he more than likely ran here when he noticed everyone was gone.

“You were taking too much time,” Dave says in a dead pan. He makes a motion with his hands. You think he is trying to signal you. Maybe he is giving you an out. He’s buying you time. You can still make it to the back room and hide there till eleven thirty. Dave, as annoying as he can be, is a true friend. You will surely make sure to return the favor one day.

“Anyways, we haven’t been here that long we just now started talking with Karkat,” Jade says and ruins any chance you had at escape. They all look at you.

“Good night.”

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you are probably one of the most awkward people you have the displeasure of being. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Besides the place vaguely smells like grape juice which for some reason turns you off completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~! Thank you so much for all the nice comments and kudos! This chapter was a bit hard for me to write but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless! All your comments on characterization make me so happy because I worry about it!

“Is what I am hoping you are having?”

It’s official. No matter how John may try he will never hate you as much as you hate you.

Everyone looks at you. You try to read their faces and all you are getting is confused and pity. Dave is just looking at you blankly but his is worst of all. You feel it in the very bottom of your existence. You are trying to mentally apologize for not escaping. You hope he understands.

“Karkat,” John says and smiles. It’s the closest thing to torture you might ever know. You want to apologize. You want to tell him that you aren’t quite sure what you are apologizing for but it has something to do with hurting his feelings. You want to kiss him on the mouth.

That thought makes you blush.

“How are you?” You say this with the tone of someone who has seen someone they were avoiding for many years. It feels rough and unnatural. You aren’t happy with it.

“It’s been like six hours since I last saw you,” John says this laughing and it puts you at ease. So you smile at him because someone once told you while people won’t understand if you don’t tell them a smile can sometimes mean even more.

“You know what I mean,” You say trying to sound lighter. “How was your day?”

“Uneventful,” John says scratching the back of his neck. It’s gotten awkward again. Your subconscious chooses to project shirtless John images into the very conscious part of your being.

“Oh,” is all you say.

You all lapse into silence. It is literally so awkward and you desperately want it to be eleven thirty so Kanaya can pick you up and you can just sleep all of this off.

“I’m going to go,” John trails off as he turns his head to the side. “To the bathroom. Bye.” He just leaves and you have never felt so shitty. You watch him walk away and the farther he goes the more the unsettling feeling grows.

“Oh,” you say again. You really don’t know what else to do or say.

There is more silence. Dave looks at his wrist. There is no watch on his wrist. He says it’s ironic. It’s really just weird.

“So,” Dave says being the most awkward person you know. He might even be more awkward then you and Tavros. You don’t know how he’s fooled people for so long into thinking he’s cool.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you present this case to the jury on why Dave is so not cool.

“I guess we aren’t going to get invited to the baby shower.” Dave says looking up to the ceiling.

“What are you even saying, Strider?”

“I’m just concerned that this little evening meant to take the stop at casual convo creek but somehow ended up running straight into unsettled issues canyon,” He is on a roll. “But where it needs to be headed is resolved issues lake.”

What you think Dave is trying to tell you is that he understands that you and John are having a beef but you need to get over it because it is getting awkward for this friendship?

“Shouldn’t you be preparing for your set?” Jade asks and looks at Dave.

“Okay,” Dave says turning around. “I have to get ready then. I’ll see you guys soon. Tell Rose I said hey when she comes out.” He disappears. It’s just you and Jade and depression.

“Are you okay?” Jade asks and bites her lip. She probably got Dave to leave for you. You look up at her.

“I’m fine,” You say maybe a bit too pitifully.                                                               

“Sorry Dave’s dumb.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“And John is probably just in a bad mood because me and Dave ditched him!” Jade says quickly and reaches for your shoulder. “He’s not one to brood! He’ll be better.”

“Yeah,” You say not feeling any better. “He’s probably just mad at you.”

“That’s the spirit!” Jade says pumping her arm in a victory gesture. “Don’t worry about it.” It must be nice to have her energy. You figure she’s probably just had more practice being cheerful in these situations.

“Good luck to you,” You say smiling at her. “So how was getting up close to Strider?” You know it’s probably bad teasing Jade to not think about John but it’s not something you are above at this moment.

“Ugh shut up!” She says and puts a hand to her face. “I was so not expecting that. Like my heart was beating so fast you have no idea.”

“I think I understand the feeling.”

“Oh, Jade,” Rose comes over and looks at you. “Are you bullying my fellow employee?”

“No!” Jade laughs putting her hand on Rose’s head. “Me and Karkat were just chatting.

“Speaking of chatting,” You say. “I’ve been talking for too long anyways. See you around Jade.”

You actually should be getting back to work. Even though this isn’t your job and you are only helping out it would look bad on both Kanaya and Rose if you did a shitty job. So you take a deep breath and remind yourself that you were completely put together two days ago and that it isn’t like you to get so caught up in feelings shenanigans.

You actually get a lot done and only think about John twice in passing. You take a small break when Dave starts to play. It’s a weird mix of electronica and folk. He actually sounds nice. He even raps some and you are caught so off guard by the talent he is emitting from his very being.

You were, admittedly, expecting the performance to fall under the so bad its good category.

You catch a glimpse of John and sigh leaning on the counter.

“How are you doing?” The manager comes from the crowds and sits down at the bar. He looks flushed with happiness and passion. You only hope to look like that after a night of work one day. “Get me water will ya?”

“I’m doing good,” You say as you get him his drink. “Thank you for letting me do this.” He giggles. You know far too many grown men that giggle.

“Oh hush now,” He says and leans his head into one of his hands. “I would have hired you in a heartbeat, you know. “

“I’m flattered.”

“I was going to ask how come I’ve never seen you at Randies,” He says looking at you. You freeze because Randies is the stupidly named gay club around here that is pretty popular. You’ve been there a few times with Kanaya and Eridan and some other of your friends from classes. It’s alright. You’ve met a couple okay people and it’s not really something you like to do  on account of the whole meeting people in bars to hook up thing isn’t really your idea of a great time lately.

Besides the place vaguely smells like grape juice which for some reason turns you off completely.

“But I think I know why,” He continues . “You like one of Rose’s friends?”

“What?” You sputter and almost drop what you are holding. He just laughs.

“I hope it’s not the blonde,” The manager points to where Dave is standing with Jade. “Because you have some stiff competition there.”

You just shake your head. You can think words and no one has ever known you to be short with them but right now nothing is coming out. You are far too embarrassed for them.

“So it’s the dark haired one.”

“I don’t know what we are doing here,” You say trying to regain control of your life. “I don’t know why everyone who works here thinks it’s ok to stick their nose in my private life but I would like for it to stop.  It’s as if you people have no concept of social graces. Much less how you are supposed to talk to someone you just met.”

“I’m just an old fogey trying to help out the younger generation.”

“I am literally so embarrassed right now,” You mumble covering your face with your hands.

“See people are going to say that you should tell him and maybe face rejection or tell him and regret it for the rest of your life,” He starts looking dreamily into his glass of water. “It’s not that easy though. It’s more complicated. Like you could tell him and he rejects you, right? Well, that can go in different directions. You could stop being friends completely or your bonds of friendship can be stronger than ever or some awkward place in between.” He stops talking as if to make sure you are listening. You nod.

“Okay, then let’s say you don’t tell him,” He says this twirling his glass, “but that doesn’t necessarily mean you will regret it your whole life, right? Maybe a couple months and then you meet someone else farther down the road and life goes on and one day you guys catch up years from now. You come clean about your little crush and he laughs and wonders why you never told him and in that moment you both are wondering what could have been.”

“Why are you telling me this,” You say looking at him. “Because God so help me if it’s because I remind you of someone you used to know aka yourself. I will literally explode with how done that will make me. Just stick a fork in my throat and call me Thanksgiving dinner now if that is the case.”

“It’s a secret!” He says and does some pose that you think is supposed to be cute but not on a man of his size. “Don’t forget to take out the trash!”

You want to ask him if his actual point in coming to sit with you was to tell you about the garbage before he got distracted by his own gapping mouth. You are sure that he just felt the need to talk to you because he was fulfilling some desire to talk to himself which was stupid.  But before you can do all that it happens. As if by some prank by a divine being, John makes his way to where you are. You look over to where the manager was and he’s gone. As if he was some gay fairy god mother whose work was done.

“Hey,” John says looking at you.

“Hey,” You say trying not to look nervous.

“I’m sorry,” John says quite literally stealing the words that were going to come from your mouth. You are confused.

“I was a jerk,” He says looking down and then back at you. “I’m sorry for breakfast. I’m sorry for going into your room. I lied I knew it was your room. I knew it was the second I smelled it. I’m sorry for-“

You cut him off by laughing.

“That’s so stupid,” You say holding yours sides. “ I can’t believe you! You have no reason to be sorry!” You continue laughing and at first John looks confused but then he makes this big, goofy grin that makes your heart do flips.

“I’m sorry too,” You say wiping a laughter tear from your eyes. “For being an awkward assface.”

“You’re pretty awkward,” John laughs rubbing the back of his neck. “But never an assface. Like you think you are one but mainly you are just shouty and prickly. Like a toy dog near a cactus. A Pomeranian”

“Why a Pomeranian?”

“They are fluffly and cute but they can be kind of mean and bite your hands when you try to pet one,” John says almost too matter of factly as if his answer was the only right one.

“I don’t get you and your obsession of calling me cute,” You say looking away from him. “Is it because you have some sick hobby where you like it when people get flustered and mad at you? Because I think you do.”

“Is it really that sick?”

“Yes,” it isn’t you who answers but Rose. She comes over.

“I was looking for Karkat but I also found John,” She smiles and looks at ease. She side glances you and you want to flip her off but you settle for an eye roll. “Where have you been hiding.” You glance to John because you kind of want to know the answer too.

“The bathroom mostly,” John laughs and smiles. “Shit’s gross too. Literally and figuratively.”

“Ew,” is the chorus you and Rose make together. This amuses John and he laughs.

“Karkat, I need to ask you something,” Rose says when she regains her cool. John has a knack of making everyone feel what he is feeling.

“What?”

“Manager wanted me to ask if you got the trash out.”

“I’ll do that now.”

“Do you need any help?” John asks and you smile despite your best efforts.

“No I got it,” You say grabbing then not exceptionally heavy bag. “I’ll be back.”

You open up the door that leads outside to the trash and what you see actually shocks you a bit. It’s Dave and Jade mashing together in a big heap of make out.  There’s a lot of groaning and hushed moans and from your angle you are pretty sure Jade has her legs wrapped around Dave. He’s got a hand up her shirt and she’s giggling something into his ear. You can actually feel the lust in the air and if you weren’t so caught off guard you’d be a weird mix of disgust and jealously.

 “Close the door,” Dave says in this breathy voice that’s making you uncomfortable. “You’re embarrassing the lady.” Jade just giggles and nuzzles up to the nape of his neck.

“Garbage,” You say as calmly as you can as you walk around them to the dumpster. “This is so unsanitary I can’t even believe you two. Is this something you guys do for fun? Find the absolutely most disgusting place in an establishment and then proceed to press your faces together?”

“Door,” Dave says again.  Jade looks up to him all starry eyed.  You obey orders and close the door.

You walk back to John and Rose a shell of the person you once were.

“Don’t open that door,” You say standing behind the counter. Rose raises an eyebrow.

“Don’t tell me,” She says as she walks to the door. You wonder if she guessed correctly. How could she guess correctly?

“I’m not quite sure.”

Rose comes back with an unreadable look on her face.

“Oh.”

“Was it what you thought?”

“Yes and no,” Rose says rubbing her forehead. “I thought it was going to be the manager and some boy kissing but that was unexpected to say the least.”

“Wait,” John says looking at you two. “Did Dave finally kiss Jade?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was almost a johnkat kiss but it seemed really forced? I didn't like it but I wanted inappropriate kissing! Also I kept on thinking of Boxcars hahahaha. I shouldn't be allowed to write. (I also really like the chapter summary this time because it's really funny to me out of context)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Probably go get milkshakes with you right now and I don’t know watch some b horror movie.” You say without thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me forever to update this! I've been busy with a summer job and every time I sat down to write on this I'd end up only doing a paragraph or so at a time hahaha. Anyways thank you for reading as always!

“What?” John says looking from you to Rose. He looks as if he genuinely was not expecting the looks of awe and how in the world did you guess that.

“How did you know that John?” Rose says touching her fingers to her lips.

“How?” Is all you get out.

“I mean me and Dave are bros,” John starts rubbing the back of his head looking a mix of annoyed and confused. “ I mean you two are like assuming I don’t pay attention to anything anyone does or says. I’m not that big of an asshole, gosh.”

“Why didn’t either of them tell me then,” Rose almost looks annoyed.  You have a bit of an inkling in why they didn’t but you don’t voice you just turn to look at John.

“Sorry,” you tell him looking up. “ I don’t think you are that big of an asshole. Like a baby’s perhaps but not that big” You smile at him. He smiles back.

“Okay wow rude,” He looks away from you. “ I take back everything I have ever said about you being cute ever.”

You turn red. This guy has brought you from so many different emotions in one night you can’t handle it.

“Wait that’s pretty cute though,” John laughs and bends down to get closer to you. “Wow, you are making me feel so fluffy and giggly like I’m not six feet tall and supposed to be an adult. How? I can’t handle you, dude.”

“Don’t talk like that in front of people,” you mumble out looking away from both him and Rose. “Also don’t say dude after saying something half ass sentimental you stupid prick.”

Rose coughs. You would almost feel bad for her if you weren’t too busy feeling pretty great for yourself.

“We should get back to work,” She says and you can hear the odd mix of annoyance and amusement in her voice. “ You two can continue your shameless flirting later.”

“It’s not that shameless,” John says laughing. “I mean the faces Karkat makes should be illegal I mean c’mon. It’s really all on him. I was just a normal guy and he decided to crash into my life all tsundere and what not. I was just the unassuming senpai!” Jade must be making John watch all her animes with her again because he’s letting it show.

“That sounds pretty shameless.”

“Oh come on Rose,” John laughs.

“And with your height difference it may as well be illegal what you’re doing.”

“Is it really that much, Rose?”

“You may be mistaken for a baby sitter, John,” Rose puts her hand on his shoulder. She smiles knowingly. “Are you ready for that?”

“I accept responsibility,” John finally says after talking a deep breath. He hangs his head low and Rose ruffles his hair with her other hand.

“Have you two forgotten I’m here.” You cough and John looks to you and smiles.

“How could I?”

“Shut up,” You turn to look at John and it’s too late. He’s already amused by your embarrassment.

“Don’t pretend like everything you do isn’t a calculated seduction technique,” he raises his eyebrows and you want to die. “But we’ll continue this is in private. Bye Rose! Bye Karkat!” John bounces away and you assume to grill Dave and Jade later because that is just how he is.

“You are going to have to take responsibility for this, Vantas,” Rose smiles a she wipes down a counter. “ And I can’t wait to tell Jade and Nepeta everything that happened tonight.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Would I?” Rose smiles sweetly. “It’s what I deserve after all of that.” She is kidding you think because she lets out a laugh and winks before walking away.

The rest of you shift goes by in a hazy flash. You remember seeing Jade and Dave in the crowd looking considerably  more sweaty and that the boss came by again to wink and ask  you how it went before whisking away with some boy with shorts on that read on the butt: juicy.

It was almost too much for you to believe.

He also offered you a part time job. It went something like this, you think:

“So I really don’t mind seeing you behind the counter.”

“Thanks?”

“Rose’ll tell you the next day you work!”

“Okay?”

And that is how, you think, you acquired a job. It’s been a while since you worked and you’ll have to talk to Kanaya about it but you’re pretty sure it will all work out.

Pretty soon you and Rose are closing up. You look to your phone and bite your lip. Kanaya hasn’t reached you yet.

“You can try calling her again,” Rose suggests as she puts away some supplies. Most people have left and the few that are here either work here, are waiting for someone, and all the occupants of the shared apartment leaning on the counter waiting on you and Rose.

You think Jade and Dave are holding hands underneath nd it’s really the cutest thing you’ve seeing a while and it makes you want to write them into the rom com you are always writing in your head.

“What’s Kanaya even doing?’ John asks looking at his own phone.

“She’s with Eridan,” You tell them and you can almost see all of them lose interest. While everyone in your little group is friends there are definitely people who are closer with the others. Eridan just so happens to be an incredibly polarizing member of the group.

“I bet you ten dollars they are arguing over which fashion styles are coming back,” Jade laughs and looks to Dave. He smiles at her. You are literally dying at their action.

“It’s gross to stare dude,” John says and it makes you jump.

“I wasn’t staring.”

“Okay gawking whatever.”

Before you can get flustered with John, your phone rings and everyone looks at it.

‘Hey Kar!!!!!” Eridan says  bit too excitedly. You groan.

“You’re drunk aren’t you.”

Don’t be mad!” Eridan says and you can imagine his face. He’s pursing his lips and cocking his head to the side. ‘Besides so is Kanaya.”

“What... Why?”  
  
“Well we were watching Project Runway and I was like,” He takes a pause here for what you are left to assume is effect. “ Kan. Wouldn’t it be the best to take a shot when Heidi Klum lays her accent on thick for like no reason.”

“So now you are both-“

“Karrrrrr sorry! It was so funny so so so funny,” You hear Kanaya in the background giggling and you can’t be too mad. Girlie is going to have a horrible headache two days in a row but she has to make her own decisions. You will not always be there for her as much as you tell yourself that you’d like to be.

“Okay then you and her go to sleep or drink some water or something I’ll just walk home.”

“Okay! Bye Bye!”

Eridan hangs up and you sigh leaning yourself on the counter.

“That sucks,” Jade says after a moment of silence. You nod as you walk around the counter. You and Rose are done closing and if you have to walk home you might as well get started.

“Maybe you don’t have to walk alone,” Rose suggests and you think she just elbowed John in the gut but another part of yourself says that you just imagined that happened

“Yeah I’ll walk with you!” John smiles and you are about to protest when he talks some more. “Besides it’s not like you’d mind too much me crashing at your place again and it’ll be fun!”

“That is such a great idea,” Dave says looking over his shoulder. Jade also nods and before you can get a word in you are standing outside the place waving goodbye to your friends who are walking in the opposite direction.

You and John walk in silence for a bit. You want to say something but you aren’t quite sure as to what you want to say. It is John that breaks the silence.

“If you could do anything right now what would you do?”

“Probably go get milkshakes with you right now and I don’t know watch some b horror movie.” You say without thinking. When you start thinking again you are more than just mildly embarrassed. But you really do mean it. You don’t look at John but instead focus on your feet and the pavement.

“Milkshakes?” John asks in a bewildered tone and you just shrug.

“Yeah because milkshakes are great but I heard somewhere they’re better when you’re with someone you kind of like,” You say and you have no idea where all this newfound confidence is coming from. Maybe some dust left by your gay fairy godmother? Maybe indigestion or perhaps even the earth is aligning with Jupiter and is giving you strength. You really don’t care about the reason and you look to John.

He doesn’t say anything and it catches you off guard. John always has something to say. He has something to say when you are two are even doing the simplest of tasks like that time he helped you change the batteries in your fire detector or during parts of movies you really want to hear. The guy even talks in his sleep and yet now when you decide to be the most up front with your feelings that you ever have been the guy decides to stop talking.

“Oh,” is all he says and he covers his face with his arm and looks away. You are a little shocked because he is blushing and he never reacts like his and it’s really cute and you want to get a closer look so you do.

“I wasn’t expecting you say something like that,” He says still not looking at you. “When most people get asked that question they usually say something like travel the world or go one some adventure but not you.  You want to spend your time with me.”

“You say that like I just admitted to being into something crazy,” You laugh. “You aren’t that bad.”

“But I’m a jerk to you like 800% of the time,” John whines and you rolls your eyes. You’ve been friends with him long enough that when he gets flustered he gets like this. You aren’t really listening to what he’s saying but you can only assume it’s something stupid like revisiting that time he used your lab equipment to feed Casey or that time he broke your television or that time he made you feel bad so he wouldn’t have to spend as much money on a dinner you two split that he ate the most of.

“Like I ate all of it, Karkat,” John continues to talk but the blush on his cheeks is less noticeable. You just take his hand in yours and he finally stops.

“Do you kind of like me too?” You really have no clue who you are tonight.  You’ll probably regret it in the morning.

“Yeah,” John says this time looking at you. “I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a little short I know but I like where it ended.


End file.
